Beautiful Forevers
by D R O W N-I N-S E Q U I N S
Summary: Fifteen Truths about Rosalie Hale. Oneshot.


**Well this is a long one. Forgive me please. I didn't even do all of the ones I wanted to because I found out 15 moments really isn't enough for Rosalie! And I know a lot of these are revolved around her and Emmett but that's because I truly utterly adore them. Also I noticed that Edward is in there a lot too (which is surprising because writing him scares me to death) but that's just because they're been siblings for so long plus he can read minds so there. Anyways I truly do love Rosalie so your feedback on how I did means so so so much to me. Also I'm willing to do a fic exchange, I'll write you something if you write me a Emmett/Rosalie. :) And I think that's it. So anyways enjoy!**

I.

Rosalie Hale never asked for forever.

II.

She was always the favorite child.

She was her parent's golden haired ticket into the promised land and they worshipped her for it. And her mother was never really the mothering type so Rosalie often found her little brothers coming to her with their bruised elbows and skinned knees to kiss it all better. And she did because they were the only people she loved more than herself, more than her pretty face. Because in their small innocent eyes, beauty came from the soul and they found hers stunning.

When she announces to them, as she pulls the cover up to their chins, that she's marrying Royce King and going to move into his fairytale castle and he's making her his Queen, they blubber. She smoothes their hair and asks them what's wrong. They don't want her to leave because then who'd be their _mother_? And she laughs and kisses them on the foreheads and tells them no matter where she lives she'll always be theirs.

She slips out of the room and beams at the word _mother_. She's never felt more special or more alive or more _beautiful_.

She thinks all she'll ever want is a little boy who calls her mother.

III.

She knows she's beautiful.

She's gorgeous and she uses this to her advantage and she repeats it like a mantra, especially when somebody is watching because she always put such a pretty show.

Only while she lies in the snow, her crimson red blood marring the clean white snow, she thinks she _hates_ her beauty more than anything else in the whole wide world. Because all it had gotten her is to _here_ and plain Vera has everything she wants. And she never pushed people to see past her blinding beauty but she resents them all a little for never bothering to look to try. Now she's dying in the snow for the only thing that ever made her special.

She knows she's beautiful and she knows that it'll only hurt her in the end.

IV.

She didn't try to fight back that fateful night.

When they first called out to her she knew she should run. Her gut was screaming at her but she couldn't. Because she was Rosalie Hale and Rosalie Hale did _not_ get scared. So she pushed her fear aside and commanded herself over towards them because nobody could ever know that fear ran through her veins the same way it did for an _ordinary_ person.

And at first they were just making her uncomfortable but then the buttons popped and she knew, she _knew_ that this wasn't the right scene for something that ended in Happily Ever After. And she didn't fight or scream. She let them rip her to shreds and it _hurts hurts hurts_ and the whole time all she can think is _no no no_ only the words never part from her lips. And as her blood spills from her broken body she pretends it's not true and that it never happened but she can feel her life slipping through her fingers like silk. Only she still refuses to admit anything happened and all she can seem to think is _no no no_. Because after all she's Rosalie Hale and she's invincible and these sort of things don't happen to girls like _her_.

Only it did and she didn't fight them. She let them hurt her. She was weak and frail and she sure as hell wasn't Rosalie Hale because Rosalie Hale would've fought with every last breath. And that girl who had just let those boys _ruin_ her like that was much too weak to be Rosalie Hale. She didn't fight them and she _hates_ herself for it.

She promises herself that she will fight for herself no matter the cost.

V.

She finds that the more she hates something the more she obsesses over it.

She hates what those men did to her and how it made her feel and how she reacted. And she _really really really_ fucking hates Royce and she wants nothing more to break and crumble him into the million little shatters he left her once beating heart in. Only now it's cold and dead and it just makes her colder and crueler and she will fucking _break_ him.

Esme and Carlisle and Edward tell her that this kind of obsession isn't healthy. She just let's out her bitter bark of a laugh and asks why she should be healthy when she's already dead and stunning? They don't answer. Esme and Carlisle look hurt and she feels a little guilty. But then she sees Edward and he's so angry but he's always angry with her and she may as well give him reasons.

So she obsesses over those _God awful_ men and she makes sure they pay. She makes sure it hurts and they're humiliated and that they know _exactly_ what they did wrong. And she saves Royce for last because she hates him the most and she's obsessive over what he did to her. And it hurts and he breaks just like he broke her and then it's all over and she just feels _empty_. Because she no longer has her obsession but the hate and the hurt is still there and it just _really really really_ sucks.

She realizes that the obsession and hate hurt all the same but at least she has a purpose.

VI.

She hates mirrors.

Meaning of course that she is absolutely fucking obsessed with them. She knows that Edward thinks she is vain and self obsessed because every time she passes one of those shiny reflective surfaces she can't help but stop and stare. And all that seems to go through her head is_ beautiful beautiful beautiful_. And he thinks she's obsessed with herself but he doesn't really understand. Because she _hates_ her beauty and what it did to her and how it still _haunts_ and taunts her.

They just remind her why she's here and how she's never going to change. It taunts her with promises of forever and stunning and she _hates hates hates_ it all so much that she thinks she's going to shatter into a million little glittering pieces but she doesn't. That doesn't stop it from hurting. And every time she passes a mirror she watches herself.

She's always been a little masochistic.

VII.

When Edward rejected her she wanted to slip into a hole and die.

Only she didn't because she was Rosalie Hale and she doesn't do weak. She had promised herself that she would always fight and giving in to her insecurities wasn't an option.

But when Edward practically threw a temper tantrum at the mere mention of him dating her, she wants nothing more than to burst into tears but settles for the idea of bashing his head against a electric fence instead. He momentarily forgets his hissy fit at that thought and manages a chuckle but sees her fierce look and goes back to the task of whining how she's not good enough. Only he doesn't say that but she just knows he's thinking it.

For weeks she avoids him and he gives her, her space because she can be quite violent if prompted. She can hear Carlisle trying to understand Edward's reasoning but she blocks out the words and focuses on Esme's movements as she brushes her golden hair. Esme whispers soothingly that Edward will come around and she just laughs and spits out something about how she would never have anything to do with that self righteous, uptight, pretentious bronze haired _bloodsucker_. Esme flinches at the word bloodsucker and she whispers sorry even though she's not. She can't bear to hurt Esme and it often causes her to do annoying things like apologizing for things she'd say all over again if she had the chance.

After brushing Edward off for a month he corners her in the house. For a fleeting moment she panics as a flash of a boy pressing her against the gravel of a dark alley way appear and Edward immediately cringes and takes a couple of steps back. Her temper flares because she doesn't want his fucking _pity_.

He demands to know why she'd been avoiding him and she can't control her thoughts. His eyes widen in surprise and he takes a step towards her but she growls and he snaps back. His eyes look like they'd be watering if he could but he can't so it doesn't really matter. He tells her he'd never think of her as _damaged_ goods and doesn't she understand she still has so much to give? She looks at him coldly and she doesn't have to ask out loud why he doesn't want her. He replies with a laugh and insists that they'd never work. They both need to be right and neither are yielding. He'd be drained from all of her frivolous wants and her constant need for reassurances. She'd get bored from his predictable nature and lose her temper with his preaching. They'd never work and he knows she knows that he's right. She hates to admit that he's accurate but she does anyways.

She soon finds that they slip into the sibling role quite nicely. She likes to annoy him and he likes to pick her and their squabbling keeps the big house echoing with screams and giggles. Carlisle often finds himself laughing at their antics and Esme smiles fondly at their arguments.

Rosalie finds that having an older brother makes her feel safer than she has in a long time.

VIII.

She's a selfish shallow girl.

It's the way she's been raised and it has always made sure that she's preserved. And looking back she really didn't have a choice in the matter to be either and she thinks it's a little ridiculous to hold judgment on her for something that was instilled into her the same way her hair color was.

She tries to fight her instincts, her selfish shallow instincts but it's like trying to fight her height, some things just are. And one day when she's _so so so_ mad at Edward because he hates her for all the same reasons she hates herself, she stumbles on a man.

He's being mauled by a bear. He's bloody and broken and beautiful and _Oh God_ he looks like Henry and she thinks she just might die. And before she knows it she's running _running_ back towards the house and the one person who can maybe just maybe save the broken man in front of her.

And she knows it's a shallow reason to want him to be cursed to this life. But he looks like Henry and she wants him _so so so_ badly. She knows that it's selfish and wrong. Especially since she can't quite forgive Carlisle for condemning her to the same fate and his intentions were much more honorable. But she's a selfish shallow girl.

She thinks she may as well use it to her advantage.

IX.

She'll never forgive herself for what she did to Emmett.

She doesn't leave his side the whole time he's changing and his screams would haunt her dreams if she could have any. And for three days she questions herself and bounces with panic. Carlisle looks at her with sad eyes and she smiles tightly at him because he doesn't deserve the blame for her mistakes. Esme whispers soothing pretty lies into her ears but she pushes them out. Edward tries to stay quiet but she often finds him hovering behind her like the overprotective brother he's turning out to be. Suddenly the three days are up and she prepares herself for her punishment. The big beast of a man springs up and Edward practically tackles her down in his haste to be in front of her in a protective crouch.

Carlisle walks in the room and the man immediately stands up straight and mumbles something about God. Edward gets up as well and holds his hand out for the man, introducing themselves. The burly man is named Emmett and she thinks it's the most perfect name she's ever heard in her life. Emmett sees her and his smile is big and white and dimpled and flawless. He's over by her side in two steps and she's being crushed into him as he whispers Angel. Edward snickers and she glares back at him. Carlisle explains everything to Emmett and Rosalie waits for him to hate her for punishing him like this. He instead asks her if she's one too and when she tells him yes he smiles and says that's good enough for him. Her stomach flutters and she thinks she wants to throw up but she's not quite sure why. Emmett flows smoothly into their life and soon it's hard to remember what it was like without him. He insists on calling her Angel and she finds herself going out of her way to avoid him.

Edward gets mad and asks her why she'd abandon somebody who so obviously wanted to be nice to her. He hears and sighs _Oh Rosalie don't you get it yet?_ And leaves her alone. Esme brushes her hair and tells her what Emmett is doing and how he asks about her. Rosalie stomach flutters at the mention of his name and she _hates hates hates_ how he can make her want to be so weak all over again. She promised she'd never be that girl again but she feels herself wanting to slip into that role.

One day while hunting Emmett sighs mournfully and tells her he's sorry_. _And she's confused because as far as she knows Emmett hasn't done anything wrong. She asks him what for. _For making you regret me_. She's so stunned that she can't say anything and he runs off before she has a chance to respond. She hates herself all over again making him think that. She chases after him and suddenly she's breaking down and she hates herself all over again because she's so damn _weak_. He smoothes her hair and calls her Angel again. She looks into his eyes all she can see is innocence and Henry and she thinks she may _need_ him.

She'll never regret Emmett because she's his Angel.

X.

She'll never understand why Emmett wants her.

She's broken and damaged and _dirty_ and she thinks she may hate herself more than she's hated anything in her whole life. Emmett is funny and loveable and whole and he's everything she once thought she could be but she's not that girl and never will be.

He laughs and jokes and keeps the whole entire family entertained. She thinks that they must love him so much more then they could ever love her because he's everything good and kind and pure and she's just a dirty little broken girl who likes to make people as miserable as she is. And she's okay with the fact that he's so loveable because she _needs_ him and every time he looks at her she feels as though a thousand butterflies on fire are spreading from her gut to her fingertips and she thinks all she'll ever need is him and his smiles. She _hates hates hates_ that she needs anybody at all. But he smiles at her again and she forgets all of her objections. He's more protective then even Edward and he refuses to let her hunt by herself because he's afraid that she'll run into something she can't handle. They all look at him with questioning gazes and he's often teased about it but he shrugs it off and says he'll do anything to protect his Angel. And if she could she'd blush and she's grateful that she can't.

She thinks she's falling in love with him and she knows that he'll never see her as more than a sister. She thinks that this is fair and if she damned him to this life forever he may as well get to taunt her for eternity. They're hunting one night when they stumble upon a playground. He runs around laughing like the child he truly is and she finds his happiness to be contagious and she runs towards the swings. She sits upon one delicately and pumps her legs. She feels like she's flying and she's finally free. She laughs and laughs and he smiles at her and the butterflies go absolutely crazy. He grabs her swing and pushes it and she really is flying and she shouts with glee. She's sliding down the big rubber slide when the sun begins to peak up and he catches her and she looks up at him and smiles. He looks back down at her and she thinks the world stopped spinning. _I could watch you smile forever _he whispers. He's so serious and she thinks she just broke all over again because she doesn't deserve him, not even for a brother. So she answers with a joking smile and tells him he has forever but he'll have to catch her before he can see her smile and she takes off running. He may be stronger but she's faster then everybody except Edward. She makes it to the house right before the sun completely goes up and she's throwing herself towards her room before anybody can notice the broken look on her face that they've all tried so hard to forget.

She doesn't make it to her room before Edward's hand is around her wrist. _Why do you do this to yourself Rosalie? _And she slams him against the wall and escapes into her room. She wants to burst into tears because really that's the only thing that seems appropriate but she can't so she crawls under the silky sheets that she doesn't need and curls up into a ball. She hums because it's the only thing to make her brain just _shut up please oh God just shut up_. Esme enters quietly, everything about her is quiet, gentle, she's everything Rosalie could only hope to be.

Esme strokes her hair and she just lies there. Esme isn't the type to make her talk and she isn't the type of girl to lean on others but she finds herself spilling over. She tells Esme everything. How dirty she is and how she _wants wants wants_ Emmett but she can't let herself be that weak. She tells her how disgusting she feels in her own skin and how she wants to crawl out of this body. She tells her how whole Emmett is and she tells her how he makes her feel and how feeling that way makes her feel. Esme listens and nods.

Finally Rosalie finishes and she looks at Esme timidly. Esme kisses her forehead. _I think you need to tell Emmett what you just told me_. She slips out of the room like a whisper and leaves her there. She's scared scared scared of telling Emmett the truth because she thinks she may be in too deep and he can break her and she's petrified of being broken all over again. There's a knock on the door and Emmett mumbles something about Edward telling him to go check in on her.

_I need to tell you my story Emmett_. He nods slowly as if fearful of frightening her and his eyes are apprehensive, afraid that any moment she'll run from him. She begins by looking him in the eye and going all the way back to her family, to Royce because he doesn't know any of it. And once she gets to the part of what those bastards did to her she turns her head because she can't look him in the eyes. She doesn't know what she'd do if she saw disgust there. The bed starts to shake and she looks up and Emmett's eyes are closed and his fists clenched. _I'm going to fucking kill them_. She laughs in an effort to lighten the mood and she tells him not to worry, she already did but it sounds hallow and she doesn't think she comforted him very well.

He opens his eyes and looks at her. She's fearful of disgust, pity but neither of these are there. Just a deep kind of sorrow that stabs at her. _I'm so sorry Rose, I should've protected you_. She breaks as she watches him break for her and she think she's never felt so cared for in her whole entire existence. She reaches for him and he pulls her in her arms and she snuggles her face into his chest as he rocks her back and forth. She doesn't bother to tell him that it's not his fault and he doesn't bother to tell her it's going to be okay because there's no sense for wasting breath on deaf ears and they both understand that.

When she finally begins talking to him again she spills out the same words she told Esme. She still doesn't meet his eyes. She finally finishes and she waits for him to tell her that she's just a stupid shallow vain little girl and that he never wanted her beyond being a brother. She waits for him to reject her like Edward only this time it'll hurt more than her pride. He lifts her chin up and for a moment the intensity of his honey eyes suck the breath right out of her. He gulps out of habit and tells her everything she's ever needed to hear.

"_What those men did to you Rosalie was wrong. So very wrong and if you hadn't already killed them I would. They were filthy pigs Rose and you never did anything to deserve that. They never had a right to steal what was rightfully yours and only yours to give Rosalie. They stole from you Rosalie but you are not tainted. I promise you that I don't see you as any less of a woman. You're so strong Rose and I don't know if I can ever be as strong as you. I don't deserve you Rose but I want to protect you from everything. I don't want you to ever hurt or be afraid again. I love you Rose and you'll always be my Angel."_

"_I love you too Emmett."_

She doesn't know why Emmett wants her but she isn't foolish enough to deny him either.

XI.

She was terrified of her wedding night.

The wedding was so much fun to plan that she and Esme spend two years making sure to get everything just right for her first wedding with Emmett. Emmett can't fathom why they needed a full two years to get everything ready but he just laughs and says that it was a good thing that they had forever. She glares teasingly and giggles a lot but whenever she starts to think about the actual night she pushes it aside before the bubbling terror can consume her.

But one night after a joke she can't help but think of all her fears. She wonders if it'll hurt again and if she'll feel suffocated. She wonders if it'll just be something to endure for the rest of her eternity. She wonders if she'll be really bad and then if maybe Emmett will leave her for somebody who isn't haunted by the very act of _love_ and somebody who is good at it and she thinks she really wants to cry. She loses herself in her insecurities and she doesn't notice that everybody is staring at her but when she does she feels embarrassed enough to run and never stop but she settles for fleeing to her room.

She can hear them all start to whisper until there's a booming knock on her door. She tells Emmett to come in. He pokes in his head and he's by her side in two long strides. He grabs her and brings her into his side and burrows his face into her hair. _You're so silly Rosalie_. She asks him why and he tells her that they have forever and he'll wait that long if that's what she wants because all he wants is for her to be happy. She knows right then and there that she _wants wants wants_ him and on their wedding night she'll have him, and those nightmares behind her eyelids will just have to deal with it. She tells him this and he gives her a stern look and tells her that she will not be doing anything that makes her uncomfortable just because she wants him to be happy. She laughs and responds that he should know that by now everything she does she does for herself. He rolls his eyes and tells her she's not as nearly selfish as she'd like everybody to believe.

The wedding is perfect and when he sweeps her into his arms and across the threshold she bites her lip nervously. He sets her gently onto the bed and asks if she'd like to just relax. She knows that he's giving her an out, he's told her so many times that he'd wait for her forever but she doesn't think she could wait for him that long and she nervously reaches for his shirt and her fingers fumble with the buttons. He smoothly grabs her hand and kisses her fingertips. _We don't have to Rose, we have forever you know_. She tells him she knows but she wants it right _now_. He laughs and calls her impatient. She scrunches her nose and he kisses it and gently lowers her onto the bed. And then his kisses and hands are everywhere and it feels wonderful.

By the end she's very grateful that they don't need to sleep and never tire because she doesn't think she'll ever be able to stop touching him now. She knows that she'll never ever be afraid of it again because what Royce did _to_ her and what Emmett did _with_ her are two separate acts entirely.

She decides that the wedding nights are the best part of weddings.

XII.

When she meets Jasper's ruby red eyes for the first time she knows that they'll get along.

They married similar people. Both of their spouses are brunettes and both are extreme in their size, although Alice is so tiny and Emmett is so huge. Both of their spouses are children inside. But they look alike too. From their tall lean frames to the wavy blond hair, ski hill noses and sharp cheekbones. But it's more than that. They're both fighters, although their style is a little different. He's all about technique and she'll all about the fierce desire to stay alive. They're both fiercely protective, although many don't recognize it.

They both ache with pain others don't carry. And when she breaks and doesn't want anybody to know, because they're both afraid of being weak, he holds her because he understands it all. And he never calls her vain or shallow because he knows what she's feeling and vain shallow girls don't feel the kind of things she does. And when other boys at school start lusting after her, he's always the first to fix them with a glare and nudge Emmett in warning. He's as protective of her as Edward and Emmett but his style is a lot more subtle and she appreciates that.

He's her twin and she loves him.

XIII.

She thinks Alice is the most wonderful kind of crazy she's ever met.

She keeps her on her toes and although half the time Alice is driving her absolutely insane she loves her all the time. She often finds herself the model for Alice's Barbie playing and she doesn't mind because it's nice being compared to a Barbie and being the more perfect one. And even when she's rolling her eyes at Alice she can't help but smile a little because she's like the daughter she'll never have. So she often finds herself giving into Alice's ideas and thinks she has more clothes in her closet then they have in the store. She doesn't really mind because she's always wanted a decent shopping partner and Alice makes her laugh even if the most of the time she's hiding it under a grimace.

She thinks she'd do anything for her pixie of a sister.

Even when she's rolling her eyes at Alice she can't help but smile a little because she's like the daughter she'll never have. So she often finds herself giving into Alice's ideas and thinks she has more clothes in her closet then they have in the store. She doesn't really mind because she's always wanted a decent shopping partner and Alice makes her laugh even if the most of the time she's hiding it under a grimace.

She thinks she'd do anything for her pixie of a sister.

XIV.

She resents Bella but she never hates her.

She's jealous of the way the brunette girl stole Edward's heart in a way she never did and although she knows she never wanted Edward that way she's vain enough that it still hurts a little. And then she resents the way the rest of the family adores her. She hates that they all love her and she's _scared scared scared_ of her taking her place. She insists that Bella could leave them exposed and while that's true, it's so much more than that. She watches as Alice fawns over her and Esme strokes her hair and she just wants to rip Bella away from them because they're _hers _and she's never been the type to share. Carlisle and Jasper take to her and that just makes it hurt worse but when Emmett starts joking around with Bella she thinks she wants to scream. Emmett is hers and hers alone and if Edward is attracted and madly in love with her, who says Emmett won't fall for her too?

She knows it's ridiculous and stupid and not at all like her but the fear gnaws at her in a way that makes Jasper send her worried glances every five seconds. She tries to focus on the logical reasons for her hating Bella like the fact that she's giving up children, _children_. And that thought just sends more searing white pain throughout her body. Finally she lets a stray thought slip through and she knows Edward hears it because he bursts into laughter. Everybody looks at him in surprised and only Jasper knows it's about her because he can feel her sudden rage hit him like a ship of bricks.

Edward waits before he can catch her alone to confront her. He tells her that nobody could ever take her place because nobody else is _Rosalie Hale_. A traitorous thought slips through and Edward smiles sadly. He tells her that she frustrates him to no end. She glares at him and he quickly starts to explain. He tells her that she is the most vain insecure girl he's ever met and it's hard to deal with such an oxymoron. She tells him it's still foolish to take Bella into this world. He tells her it was selfish to bring Emmett into it as well but that doesn't change anything, does it? She sets her jaw because she lost but she still doesn't understand why Bella would give up children. Edward tells her he doesn't understand it either but to please be nice. She shrugs and tells him she's not making any promises.

Edward wraps her up in a tight brotherly hug as Emmett comes up the stairs. He sees them and he bounds over and wraps an arm around Rosalie's waist. Edward rolls his eyes and as he walks away he mutters something about protective morons. She cuddles her head into Emmett's chest and he kisses the top of her golden locks. She thinks she'd be happy forever in his arms.

She resents Bella but she understands why she'd give up everything for love.

XV.

Rosalie Hale never asked for forever.

But when she coos at Nessie, when Alice shops with her, when Esme brushes her hair, when Jasper calms her down she thinks she wouldn't trade it in for anything else in the world.

And whenever she's with Emmett she thinks maybe just maybe forever isn't nearly long enough.


End file.
